What is Casual?

So I have be hooking up with this guy and we have had sex for more times than I can count, more than I have had with anyone else. Not that he is so good at it, but because I just feel comfortable with him, I have noticed a few things from the first time we started he has gotten better and better and I don't mind that he has a girlfriend, but I a have a few questions.  so we got to play a game of truth and dare the other day and he got to mention he had sex with my before best friend, that is now my arch enemy and not did he just hook up with her but in the Same 24hour we had sex.
I like the constant sex, having someone there you can just call on to get it off..but when is Casual no more casual? Because I feel insane when we are having sex and at that point I just want him to be mine and mine alone.
Should I cut all connection with him?
Should I feel disrespected that he slept with her.
When is the time to draw the line?
Why do I feel betrayed?

STORY 1(The Affair)

So I was scanning my brain for story to start with and this is a little interesting so here goes The Affair, so I met this married guy online but we had already met in real life in church I know "church" he is married with children, we got talking about life and everything and after a some time he started the name calling flirty comments and I liked it, it wasn't sexual but I did feel some insane tingling inside me, or maybe it was the food I ate and then slowly the flirtatious comments started to sink in and I could make some comments back and I started looking forward to talking to him waiting for responds when I write him and I could say anything to him and vise versa, but this was all online and I didn't have to do anything physical and that was really good but then I had to visit  home and ofcos go to church and I will definitely see Mr Flirty, I wasn't nervous or anything I was just happy because had a lot of people I was gonna see again, but then I saw him, I was caught off guard and the the nerve swept in on me, He kept the conversation pure and all i could do was nod, In my mind we were already locking lips but after a while i met his wife who was the nicest person even and my sister loved her and they were really cool and reality flashed before me but that didn't stop me from still talking to him and i started asking him questions about his family(wife) which I know was really uncomfortable for him, from everything he said I realized he didn't have any problem with his wife and that everything was okay in his family he just wanted someone else to Fu*k and I didn't know why or know how to feel about that, I wasn't expecting anything big from him but felt a little hurt I actually really liked him and he had that look that sends some tingling feeling down your spine. Then I accepted to meet up, I wasn't sure of what to expect or what will happen but I was anxious and a little crazy. Then we met  and I wasn't nervous this time just wanted to know what he thought of the whole crazy relationship but he came with sweet comments and just being cute and i kinda lost it we started talking and talking and  we were just in his car and slowly his hands started moving up and up to my neck  and then he kissed my neck whispering to my ear and i could hear my panties say I'm off duty, he is that early fourths guy with sexy  whitish beards and not so dad bod the line between the hot sexy fire man and beer belly, I could feel his soft muscular body as he pulls me closer to himself all i could think of is what undies do I have on and how clean I'm I down there cause I wanted to enjoy every second of this, as he kisses my lips and I tried to turn to seat on him i realize i was on a bad road I had turn into a mistress and not the good kind you understand if you have ever tried having sex in the back seat of a car and failed I had let my feelings get he best of me I had fallen down a hole I never thought I would I soon had to get my self together cos no respectful married man would want to have anything to do with a girl he had sex with in a back of a car and i had no idea how many girls he has had in this spot or if i was just an experimental I wasn't going to be the reason a family failed or a scorned woman's prayer point so I got myself out of there immediately. Couple of weeks later I got back to school he posted a picture on Facebook of his new born baby like WTF...so Glad my cookie wasn't bitten.

A woman place (part 1)

Okay so I have been hearing  and seeing tons of stuffs on gender equality so I have my own opinion, it is only in Africa or some parts of Africa that you hear that a "woman's place is in the kitchen"! I can't fine a word to describe how that sounds or feels, like um Hello! Who in the world created that system, another one is that women can not be sexually advanced, educated, oriented, free or be sexual, again who made this rule the whole bull of a guy can fu*k as many girls as possible and be praised when a girl does it she is slut shamed this is not advanced maths if you go around fu*king tons of girls and the next guy do the same and the train goes on and on and then when you want to marry you want a decent girl or virgin .... where, from where, which planet I am not saying there are no  decent(virgin) girls out there but come on you probably lied and manipulate this girls making most of them fall in love with you and ditch them after sex and the next guy does the same thing and the chain continue. So where will you find that good perfect virgin girl when every girl is a pond. That aside where those it state that a girl can not also be free to do as she please the world is changing so fast that the things we thought were the morals last decade is already outdated,so why has the world not accepted that a woman can be all she wants to be in career or personal life, if you take time to look at this, it is even the women that slut shame their fellow women because she is getting some action and not a boring house wife with dark secrets like you so you take your frustration out on her, some people just want others to be miserable because they are, or you don't want people to see the claws you have so you spoil someone else's image, there are lots of things going on in this world the best you can do is live to make yourself happy and not screw it for others cos your happiness depends on things around you too.  Back to the whole woman's place thingy a lot of the so called born again Christians take their perspective from the Bible and interpret it to suit them take  for example why is it so hard to find a female preacher, are we to  believe that God doesn't call women to lead the church, and you will hear someone say something like the bible says "the man is the head of the family" well congrats on finding that part and for leaving out every other part of that scripture, remember a head without a body is ummmm  what??? Yeah you answer that.....

New local

Hi guys welcome to my new blog, so I decided to write here without my name and I hope you all understand as it is easier to voice out every little thought popping tro my brain. So I do ask you to bear with me as my real identity might be holding me back from saying a lot of things, I'm still figuring so many things out hope it will be fun doing it with you guys.